The Tuesday Prompt: “Know Thyself” by Amber Dawn
With Nonfic November slowly coming to a close and the 2015 Creative Non-fiction Contest extended deadline approaching (Nov. 30!), it feels appropriate to have our final November Tuesday Prompt from Amber Dawn, who was PRISM international’s 2011 Creative Non-fiction Contest Judge. Amber Dawn is a writer living on unceded territory of the Musqueam, Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations (incorporated Vancouver, Canada). Her memoir How Poetry Saved My Life: A Hustler’s Memoir won the 2013 Vancouver Book Award. She is the author of the Lambda Award-winning novel Sub Rosa, and editor of the anthologies Fist of the Spider Women: Fear and Queer Desire and With A Rough Tongue. Amber Dawn was 2012 winner of the Writers’ Trust of Canada Dayne Ogilvie Prize for LGBT writers. She currently teaches creative writing at Douglas College and the University of British Columbia, as well as volunteer mentors at several community-driven art and healing spaces.
During a recent internet procrastination jaunt I found a meme of a cartoon stick figure masturbating. The figure’s genital area was drawn as a coil of heavy black scribbles. The meme’s text: Know Thyself.
I’d say this is an apt representation of writing memoir. Take this metaphor wherever you wish. It’s my gift to you. You’re welcome.
I’ve given this advice to hundreds of students and I will offer it to hundreds more: you must make self-love a part of your writing practice. Certainly, I have tried to write while in a punishing mood, a state of cruel detachment. Certainly, I have scratched and picked at memoir (and at myself) with cool, objective hand—the writing I produced was flimsy and I felt like crap. I’d much rather view that coil of heavy black scribbles—that is my psyche, vulnerabilities, values and memory—as a place of pleasure. Finding pleasure (in memoir writing and in getting off) requires forming an intimate relationship with ourselves. The following writing prompt was inspired by a workbook exercise found in Ecstasy is Necessary: A Practical Guideby sex expert Barbara Carrellas.
1. Forget the publishing industry trends. Sure, we all tell ourselves “just write.” Let’s be honest, we embraced the long-running surge in memoir sales, and perhaps are now suffering from the post-memoir boom anxiety. Here’s one way the aphorism “know thyself” can be observed. Don’t boast. Don’t try to charm a market trend—know thyself and pay no heed to the attention of the multitudes.
2. Now let’s get our hands moving. Imagine yourself back in the specific time period that you are (or hope to be) writing about. Go for “flashback” vision, not hindsight thinking.
3. Make a list of who or what things were important to you at the time. Treat this like a freewrite; don’t overthink it. How did you spend your time, your money or resources? What choices were you making? What objects were found in your home? What places did you frequent? What were your goals? Who did you love? Be real, if buck-a-beer night at the corner pub was where you spent your hard-earned dollars, write it down on your list. If that toxic romance sucked up all your sweet time, write it down. Here I’ll point to Aristophanes take on “know thyself” in his comedy The Clouds—know thyself, how ignorant and stupid you are (or were).
4. Rank the top four to six on your list in order of importance. For example, i. my boyfriend, ii. that green Norco Kokanee mountain bike I rode everywhere, iii. the old sick cat Mittens I adopted in my 20s, etc.
5. Evaluate your top four to six for deeper meaning. Ask “why” were these people or things important until you hit what feels like the ultimately true and final answer. For example, if I picked “boyfriend” then I must ask “why boyfriend?” what did this boyfriend give me? “Love?” Well, sure, but why did I need “love”? Was “physical satisfaction” important? Or “adoration?” Or was “building trust with someone after my trust had previously been broken in a previous relationship” important at the time? Oh, yes, my emotional temperature rose slightly when I arrived at “trust.” I’ve discovered a truth. And most likely, I’ve also found a theme that will run through my memoir. This doesn’t mean I can’t still write those hot sex scenes that feature my then-boyfriend, however, I now understand these scenes are less about physical satisfaction and more about exploring trust. I’ll need to find a way to show my reader this theme—this ultimate truth—in my memoir too.
I’m going to leave you with one more usage of “know thyself” from neo-noir film The Matrix. The Wachowskis use Emet Nosce (the Latin) as inscription over the Oracle’s door in their movies. The Oracle explains to the hero, Neo, “It means know thy self. I wanna tell you a little secret, no one needs to tell you you are in love, you just know it, through and through.” This reference is to say that you don’t really need me to remind you to make self-love part of your writing practice, or to nudge you towards finding your ultimate truths. If you are writing memoir, you are already doing this work. I’m rooting for you. Keep going!